Introspections of a displaced boulevardier!

So much to say but where to start. Who would have thought that someone like me who never shuts up would be caught between masses of inspiration and actually writing it down…

Introspection

Let’s start with me! 42 (still just) single man living life in leafy North London. Crouch End to be exact. Work in a corporate, commercial setting which is fine, but not balanced with the creative me, who has always fought to get out and up until this point been suffocated or knocked back unconscious.

Why now? Why now do I finally find the energy to start writing, and why start with a blog! I so hope this is not a cliched midlife crisis ‘what am I doing with my life’ ??? ‘Where did my youth or youngness go to’ ???

I hope this is a change where I actually find some balance and ergo start writing! I always loved it at school and definitely followed the drama/English path until I was 17 and then left, midway through A’levels, as I wanted to work!

Can I be disciplined and find something great or just good to write about every week? Right now the answer is a resounding YES!

My passions are reading, drama, and music and living life! I feel that I am rarely scared of trying something new.

My musings will jump all over the place, and probably not follow a pattern, but I want to write about something I have felt, or experienced in that preceding week. I can be controversial but I don’t want my blog to be so.

Two massive changes in the last year which I will write about again will be that I lost 8 stone in 11 months and got diagnosed with pulmonary emboli. Both have for very different reasons changed my perspective so much that I hope it injects originality, passion and ingenuity into my writing.

Bedsit Disco Diva

I was overexcited to see that Tracey Thorn had published her autobiography. Everything But the Girl had been so quiet over the years as to what actually made them tick and why they changed direction musically so often so I was hoping to get some answers. Buzzin Fly (Ben Watts company) were sending out signed copies which I absolutely jumped at the chance of getting. Bedsit Disco Diva arrived in the post. Impressed with the title for a start and the cover was a fantastic picture of a teenage Tracey standing alone on stage with a guitar. Cool.

A lot of the story I was not expecting. I knew TT was more introvert than extro but not to the degree portrayed. It really shows her passion for her music to push herself forward into this uncomfortable (to her) arena.

I remember the first time I heard Each and Every One. I, as usual went to my friend Heathers for lunch at school, and she said her older sister had sent her some new music from university (this was quite regular and exciting). Heather clicked play on the silver ghetto blaster and the first few chords sounded around the lounge, add TT’s voice and it blew my mind. At this time I was all Smiths, Simple Minds so it was even more shocking that I had reacted in this way! I made a copy with Eden on one side and North Marine Drive on the other and listened incessantly. I still do.

I never really forgive EBTG for their venture into trip hop. But realise now this was MY prejudice, as I wanted more Eden and Worldwide. I am now going to try and listen again tomtheir latter recordings with an open mind.

I have been backwards and forwards with the way TT felt about her surroundings although big respect for her unwavering honesty. Is she a misunderstood introvert who wanted to speak to the world and share her politics and message without the insecurity of performing or an absolute self obsessed diva. I settled on the former which sits much better with me. She wanted to feel like she belonged but wrote ‘and that I had an audience with whom I was in sync, who understood me, got from me what they wanted and what I wanted to give. It was the feeling of belonging’. An artist has to be sated from their craft but surely generous in sympathy for everything that listeners get from the sound.

I also realise that I am drawn to their musicality rather than lyrics, which is perhaps why I don’t agree with TT that Worldwide was a weak album. TT writes a lot of their sharp messages contained within soft minimalist songs. I guess I saw this a little but not to the amount it was meant.

Music moves me to the core and stimulates my every nerve ending so expect more on music.

More Introspections
I really want people to read what I write as I believe I have something worth saying and reading! I hope some of you agree. It’s been great to write this first proper entry. I am going to try and add something weekly.

TNW or til next week

Wxx

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3 thoughts on “Introspections of a displaced boulevardier!

  1. I loved EBTG and, like you, drifted away when they went off message (as I perceived it). As chance would have it, moments before reading your blog, I read a short interview with her about a set she and Ben played with Paul Weller in 1983. As she is still releasing new music, I hadn’t realised that she stopped performing live, and so long ago too. She seems very sure of what she wants to get out of her music, and of her own limitations.

    Good music is good music no matter the genre – love reading about your reaction to their music back in the day, it being so different to what you anticipated.

    Write on Mr H!

  2. Firstly, you look fabulous. No matter what it is that set your mind to writing again, it’s fantastic news and I enjoyed reading your first post, Mister. I’ll be reading each and every one of them cause by the look of it I’m in for a great ride. Keep up the good work and set your muse free!

  3. Great first entry, Wayne! Looking forward to more, and the “boy” pic is great!

    As for EBTG, I really never go into them, they were basically a one hit wonder here in the US, “Missing” being their only Top 40 hit that I know of.

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