Plus 1 syndrome

Wk 6 Stats

1)      STS

2)      No INR test this week, as I am down to testing once every 10 days! Hurrah! Arms are looking less like a drug addicts as weeks go by.

Plus 1 syndrome

How has it happened? I am currently quite bothered that I don’t have an automatic plus 1, when one is required. No surprise that I am currently quite displaced as a Boulevardier.

In years gone by I felt I almost had to interview people to attend functions with me, that is to say who is the most appropriate friend to attend this function with me! Does that sound arrogant? It isn’t meant to…

Why are these and other occasions a thing of the past and why does it bother me almost all of a sudden?

I have regularly attended a lot of music concerts, and used to get as many tickets as the booking system allowed, knowing there would be absolutely no problem in finding at least that many people, within my circles who wanted to go. I recall receiving grumbles from a couple of friends ‘Why don’t I seem to be getting invited to concerts at the moment?’ or ‘Why have I fallen off the concert invite list?’

More recently I find myself having to hunt for people to come to concerts with me, and I only ever buy two tickets now! This led recently to a desperate Facebook request to see if there was anyone who wanted to come and watch the Scissor Sisters. I had already exhausted my list of usual suspects. I received one reply! One! From over 800 friends on Facebook, and it was from someone who I last saw about 25 years ago and didn’t like that much in the first place. I had to message and say that I had found someone!

If I already had that automatic plus 1 who felt obliged to come would it be such a drama?

Am I caught between having my peer group friends, who are more settled, and not so adventurous, and not wanting to go to concerts unless it’s one of their favourite artists, and my younger friends who are not yet as fiscally affluent to witter cash away on concerts?

Weddings generally cause the same anxiety. Happily the last few weddings have had sufficient close friends there to dispel any need to have an escort. In fact bringing someone random could have created a need to make sure they were OK constantly when having a laugh with close friends.

Of course the grass is always greener, and I am sure there are many who wear their constant plus 1 as a chain around their necks, and would welcome the chance to go independent.  Or those who should have the automatic plus 1, but due to a ‘responsible’ or rather totally consuming job can not attend, or are beset with childcare issues…

I have always survived with a fierce sense of independence, and focussed on making sure my hair and outfit spoke volumes and didn’t say or shout ‘This person is on his own’.

This doesn’t seem enough at the moment. Is the loneliness of middle age taking me by the throat and trying to strangle me?

Is it time for this displaced boulevardier to accept the onset and associated comforts of middle age, and hang up his man about town hat?

Pensive, melancholic, sentimental consideration required, accompanied by several large stiff sherries.



5 thoughts on “Plus 1 syndrome

  1. i quite understand where you are coming from – a difficult one to answer least to say my hubby is the opposite and doesnt like going to concerts or weddings so please bar me in mind if you are desperate
    huge hugs had a fab time last sunday and cant believe a weeks gone by…
    Am signing off now to go thru my address book looking for appropriate singletons :O)

  2. Ah yes, the “I don’t want to go alone” syndrome! I suspect these feelings come and go for any singletons. I know I have my bouts with it as well. There are times I don’t mind going “stag” to anything, and then there are times I want someone by my side.

    Perfectly natural, and I hope your invite list will always have an acceptable +1 for you!

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