We are not amused

As I walked along the seafront I noticed a couple hurrying into an amusement arcade. She clutched her handbag tightly along with her husband’s arm as they entered the almost empty funhouse. They wore desperate faces and shabby clothes and not in a chic way. It was mid-summer. Where was everyone else?

I glanced deeper in from a safe distance and saw a handful of living bodies pumping coins into slots. Why are these establishments called Amusement arcades? No one appeared to be having any fun. I wondered whether I should call the trade descriptions police.

Amusement arcades have been part of the English seaside for as long as I can remember. As a child I wiled away the hours on holiday deftly slotting 1p and 2p coins into shove ha’penny (or Penny Falls dependent upon your preference) hoping that my coin would be the catalyst to push hundreds of others from their precarious ledge and into my tray.


That was amusement, and maybe it’s because I was younger and less aware, but the places bustled and everyone seemed to be having fun. I checked with my mother and she thinks enjoyment at arcades is age dependent! Apparently my parents used to ‘enjoy’ watching me having fun but didn’t enjoy the noise, heat, flashing lights and claustrophobia. Mum averred that enjoyment dissipates with increasing years.

The entire front of the buildings are always wall less to provide maximum entry opportunities, and to entice customers with bright flashing lights, electronic beeps and sometimes if you’re lucky the Grease Megamix blasting at you.

As I grew into my childhood I loved the holiday arcades more. I am not sure my parents appreciated the constant request for money. The digital age was moving forward apace, and I wanted to play Asteriods, Pacland, and Star Wars costing more per turn that the penny arcades. I remember climbing into an X wing fighter with Obi Wan Kenobi telling me to ‘Use the Force Luke’. I didn’t really pay attention to the fruit or slot machines. The only slot I played was with my parents. The house rarely won and I often hit the jackpot!

Awareness increases with age and maturity and I started to see another side, perhaps the more sinister one. People were alive, but acted as zombies as they hit the ‘spin’ button to win the elusive jackpot. Rarely did their clothing or demeanour say they had the spare funds to commit so much to chance. Their faces yearned and willed the win. Would it release their trancelike state?

Is there a sinister element? I am not sure but I still feel something odd when I approach and enter.

In every arcade without fail is a change booth. This booth, often caged, is invariably staffed by an unhappy looking employee who hadn’t yet been on a customer service course, and didn’t yet deal in pleasantries.

A request would be made. ‘50ps worth of 2s please.’

The cashier would push keys on their till and 25 2p pieces excitedly hurtled down the slide into the tray at the front. The sound was remarkably like a jackpot hitting the winnings tray. Anticipation raised. Clever marketing really.

As I grew, so did the depth of my own pockets and the available funds to travel. Norfolk was humbled and I was off to Las Vegas. The glitz, the glamour and promises of fortunes surrounded by big name shows, elite shops and trendy pumping bars and clubs.

And there you find casinos rather than amusement arcades. But are they really that different? There are rows of cashiers rather than a single change booth employee but they wear the same expression and exude the same attitude. And yes of course some of the patrons are dripping in diamonds (and that’s just the men) plunging the craps dice down the silky felt of the table, but look a little further out to the sides and rows of fruit machines. There you will find shabby zombies pushing their plastic cups loaded with quarters into the slots. These slots equally promise life changing jackpots.

In Vegas however you can spot the same individuals at the machines when you go to bed as when you get up. They wear the same clothes and expressions. Vegas is happy to help you spend twenty four seven.

I am not sure if it’s just the Boulevardier outside his comfort zone or whether these sinister establishments prey on the weak willed. This applies equally to the multimillion Vegas casinos and shabby seaside arcades…

Either way the house always wins.



11 thoughts on “We are not amused

  1. I’ve done a fair few cruises and they always have a casino on board – I think the people here aren’t desperate for life-changing amounts of money, because cruises don’t come that cheaply.

    Maybe it’s just something for them to do after dinner if they don’t want to see the show that isn’t in my experience as close to a broadway show as the cruise entertainers like to imply?

    I never go in the casino or even play Bingo as I’ve seen what gambling can do – if you’re unlucky it will wipe out your cash reserves, or if you do have a few lucky wins instead of quitting they assume that lady luck is on their side and they’ll continue to win all night, until they have handed back all of their winnings once fate turns against them


  2. I agree with Tony – I believe those gambling establishments very often are a last strand of hope for people who really need a small miracle to get back on their feet again. It doesn’t help to tell them that the chances to ever win there are almost zero – their problems are so big that they are willing to grab every bit of hope they can get. And I believe it will get worse with more recession and more people joining the poor masses.
    I’ve seen it every time I have been to the poorer countries of the South – the less people have the more they tend to gamble, in hope that one day, luck will find them.

    Good article, Wayne. Love the way you described your childhood memories 🙂

  3. Hello Wayne,

    I’m familiar with the amusements you describe, as I live only an hour’s drive from “The Jersey Shore” (but thankfully I’ve never run into Snookie, Pauly D, or the rest of their trashy friends). Occasional summer weekends were spent there, trying to win cheap, poorly made prizes at numerous game booths. One booth I remember featured vinyl albums and cassette tapes to win, if you played the game right. It was summer of 1984, and Nena’s “99 Luftballons” was prominently featured along side Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, Cyndi Lauper and others.

    I will occasionally go back down to “the shore” and play the games for fun, not really expecting to win anything of any value.

    NJ also has Atlantic City, and I’ve been there a few times, but I always leave the bank cards at home, and just a small amount of cash, as it is very tempting to spend more than you want to. The first time I went there, Lady Luck truly smiled on me. I spent $10.00 on one slot machine, and got a win of $800.00. I collected my money, and left the casino before I could lose it. LOL

  4. The new TV game show Tipping is quite an eye opener and very like the Penny Falls idea in arcades. Although recently the guy from West Life proved an absolute shmuck when he didnt know things like which Queen was the Earl of Leicester’s lover. Victoria?? At least you don’t need to answer questions in the arcades just bung your 10p in the slot and watch it cascade down into nothingness. Recently I was on a cruise and it may not happen that I will be on a cruise again but I won £36 on the slot machine in the on board casino. Needless to say the money was fed back in rather quickly. This is what happens to all these desparate n’er do wells. It is their life, passion and drug. Could lead to mayhem and murder but most of the time they are quiet inoffensive souls who are keeping themselves occupied and out of the way of society.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s